Some kind of storry part 3

The second year of psychology started as I was struggling with my financial status and was seriously considering getting a job. I found out that Ry had a new girlfriend and I felt disappointed, but really happy for him. My small obsession didn't fade away during the last summer as I had hoped, it only grew. Ry looked better and better and became even more popular if that was even possible. This first semester was funny and I didn't really like many of our classes. On top of that, for social studies I had to go to class with a different group of colleagues because of a mix in my schedule. First day was terrifying: I didn't know anybody and being very shy I couldn't even say 'hello' to start a conversation. Luckily, Zandra was there - a girl I had talked to a few times before. We went inside the classroom and I sat somewhere isolated in the middle rows, relieved that nobody came to sit next to me. But eventually almost all the seats filled and I was surrounded. There were people who had to bring in their papers, and a boy caught my eyes. He came in a minute before the teacher, and wore a knitted colored muffler and had a green backpack. His name was Spy. He was very serious, didn't talk very much, kept to himself and when the class started he came in front of us and talked very convincing about his paper. His presentation was appreciated by the teacher and they exchanged a few words. It was the first time I saw that boy, tough it was already the second year.
After a few weeks, school became bearable and I could relax a little. Then one evening, in class, I saw Ry in the front rows and stared at him for most of the course. I realized then I had to do something, or else it would never end. I added him on my messenger list and we talked a few times. Needless to say that most of the things happened inside my head and the real conversations with him were disappointing to say the least. I started going to parties and there Lady Luck shined upon me: he came and hugged me and kissed my crown (upper part of the head). I was euphoric thinking it really meant something. A few parties after I found out what: when he was really drunk, he hugged girls and it had no ulterior reason. That's the way he was... Anyway, all night I danced and had fun, and we exchanged a few glances, but nothing more. At the end of the evening, as the girls and I were heading towards the bar's exit, I saw him with a girl. Since then, it all blew away like a smoke and he became almost non-existent to me.
Being the second semester already, there was a project for one optional course with the same teacher from social studies class from the last semester. Zandra and I were in the same group, along with two other colleagues (and friends) from my class. We needed help, so she offered Spy as a volunteer without even asking him about it... but that's another story :D    

Trying to remember

As I was looking trough my old stuff and looking for clues as for what to write, I found my poems. So, I'll give it a try; here is one of my old poems - from 2003:
     Confusion

My miracle, you are so far away!
Please, tell me, will you come?
I want to see you here to stay
Without you all my hope is gone.

A white minute in a dark sky
Is slipping on my body sand.
Maybe tomorrow I will die,
But not before I touch your hand.

My sadness is closing the eyes
Of my beloved soul.
I'm not flying on blue skies,
Now I'm to play another role.

I'll close my body and my soul
And I will touch a rose's petals
Before I tear it all apart.
I'll make my soul from metals.

It's a bit clumsy, but it really shows what I felt back then and a little of what I'm feeling now. I didn't know that there were people reading my blog last year and I deleted all, changed its name and started anew. Meanwhile I learned where to look and I saw that I wasn't only talking to the unknown wide space of the internet. And so, you see my confusion: was it better before or is this how I should go on? Should I write in English or in Romanian? Perhaps somewhere in the middle. I guess I'll figure it out somehow. One thing is certain: I'll keep mixing fiction and reality and write stories and diaries until my dream of writing a novel comes true. :)

bad love

This I found along with the other ideas, but it's out of topic there. It's about what I think about some boy that's now ancient history. He's been out of my life for years and I hope he never comes back.

·    I know the type of man he is. ‘I cannot be without you’, he says as he embraces another woman right in front of you. He loves you in his own way, I’m sure, but just not enough as to be with you alone. He wants you, he needs you to love him, to take care of every aspect of his life, even to think for him sometimes, but he can’t give up the many other girls. He makes you hate yourself for him and makes you believe that you’re crazy...he’s not the one leading you on, you’re just imagining things on your own again. For a while he disappears from your life and just when you’re starting to forget about him and get over this sick love, he comes back again and tells exactly what you need to hear. Until you know it, you’re trapped again in this morbid game of play- pretend.

idei prafuite

Cautam prin fisiere ca sa mai fac loc pe comp si am gasit niste idei mai vechi pe care vroiam sa le dezvolt sau sa le transform in ceva povesti, dar acest lucru probabil ca nu se va intampla prea curand... asa ca vor aparea aici in forma bruta:

· O lume în care ziua se doarme şi noaptea se lucrează. Un fel de univers paralel în care totul se întâmplă invers decât în lumea noastră. Regulile sunt aproximativ aceleaşi cu excepţia faptului că oamenii îşi desfăşoară toată activitatea noaptea iar ziua se odihnesc. Vederea lor este adaptată la vederea nocturnă şi au ochii fosforescenţi datorită unei concentraţii mari de fosfor în sânge, lucru care nu dăunează sănătăţii; de fapt concentraţia scăzută de fosfor în sânge cauzează anemii sau deteriorarea vederii. Oamenii sunt foarte palizi datorită lipsei luminii şi soarele îi face să ameţească, iar dacă este foarte puternic poate chiar să-i omoare în câteva minute. 

·     Lumea aşa cum o ştim este de fapt un mare joc pe computer, iar fiecare viaţă pe care o trăim reprezintă un nivel cu mai multe subniveluri-anii pe care îi trăim. Fiecare om vrea să ajungă la un anumit nivel sau să câştige jocul dacă este posibil, astfel dându-i-se şansa de a-şi alege varianta perfectă de viaţă la care visează - asta ar fi raiul. Nivelurile sunt universuri paralele sau alte ţări ale pământului, alte planete cu diferite forme de viaţă pe care noi nu le cunoaştem decât atunci câd reuşim să avansăm la un nou nivel.

·     Deşi cred că am văzut asta într-un film, o fată trăieşte o viaţă ziua, iar noaptea când adoarme, călătoreşte într-o lume diferită total de cea din timpul zilei. La un moment dat va trebui să ia o decizie cu privire la lumea în care va dori să trăiască de atunci înainte, deoarece Divinitatea realizează că s-a comis o eroare de înregistrare la nivelul sufletului fetei. Ambele lumi îi sunt dragi fetei şi se integrează perfect în ele astfel încât decizia devine tot mai dificil de luat, aceasta amânând-o până în momentul în care „gardienii” sunt trimişi s-o constrângă să ia decizia.

 ·      Altă chestie legată de universuri paralele şi oarecum inspirată de men in black ar fi: un univers existent într-un vechi sertar de birou, pe care poate să-l deschidă o singură persoană la o mie de ani. Aici încă nu m-am hotărât exact ce ar trebui să fie atât de fantastic şi atrăgător în sertarul ăla încât să merite să devină o carte sau un desen animat...
       ·    Asta are si titlu : Always remember me. Plot: doi indragostiti se lupta cu mentalitatea invechita a parintilor lor. Dupa mai multe incercari esuate de a fi impreuna, hotarasc sa fuga, dar au un accident in care isi pierd memoria si uita tot ce s-a intamplat in ultimii 3 ani. Intorsi acasa, la externarea din spital, isi continua vietile in acelasi fel ca inainte de a se cunoaste. Mai ales ca parintii au avut grija sa scape de toate lucrurile pe care cei doi le aveau de la celalalt si de pozele lor. Dupa un an de la accident, cei doi se intalnesc in parcarea de la Shallow Waters, cu bagajele facute, fara sa-si dea exact seama de ce sunt acolo si ce vor sa faca in continuare. Fac cunostinta si, pentru ca li se pare extrem de ciudat ca amandoi avusesera acelasi gand, pastreaza secreta intalnirea si incep o relatie de prietenie, sperand ca intre timp sa descopere ce se intamplase cu ei inainte de accident si ce le ascund familiile lor.

despre blog

Desi am sters toate celelalte postari din anii anteriori si am decis sa rescriu blogul, poate ca nu e bine sa renunt la ceea ce imi propusesem de atunci: sa scriu povesti care sunt legate de viata mea, dar si care sut fictiune pura. Mereu am idei noi pe care nu le scriu adesea si care se pierd, asa ca probabil ar fi bine sa le impart cu cineva, chiar daca universul meu e limitat si povestile mele ating o singura persoana:)

Some kind of storry part 2

I liked to go for long walks around the Complex with my friend Ela, and we talked and laughed, feeling life had just begun for us. After the past disappointments we were happy about the smallest things. One evening, as we walked on our daily route, we were talking about something that made me sad, and I looked down for a second, but when I lifted my eyes, there he was: a boy with eyes so blue I could melt, and a smile that made my heart fill with joy. He had a parka and I couldn't see his face very well because of the hood, and he passed us by then vanished. we had a few such encounters and I was always happy to see him, sometimes, Ela and I used to talk about where he would pop up again. But then school started and I never saw him again. In the first week, at one of the first classes, I came in later than many other colleagues and as I was coming in the hallway in front of the amphitheatre, there was a boy surrounded by so many girls that I thought I entered a harem, and he stood among them like a sultan. Being so tall, he looked over the girls heads, straight into my eyes. That second I thought he might be the guy from the day when we submitted our files.
'Ry' said one of the girls, and he turned towards her. I realized that it wasn't him. 'He is better looking than that other guy.' I thought and tried not to pay attention to him anymore. I felt like he was looking at me sometimes, and I stared back, but I wasn't really as interested in him as I was in the playboy from the registration. I now realize that he could have been just curious and didn't really have an interest in me, but back then I was so concerned about my own feelings that I didn't even stop to consider anything else. Months passed and I became fond of Ry, and I was starting to admit I might like him, although we almost never talked. My friend Sue seemed to like him too, so I decided to ignore him as much as I could, and I did so for almost half of year. But, to make my head blow, there was something that happened one day, before the exams. We had to take a partial in order to be able to go to the final exam, and there, at the door, the teacher called us by our full names. When she got to him, and I heard his full name, I became paralyzed: Ry was the playboy.
Imagine my surprise: I was avoiding the person I wanted to meet again.
(there will be a part three)

Dreams

What do people think about dreams in general? It would be very interesting for me to research this and write a paper on the view of the common people as well as the scientific view in my country or worldwide (I know there are such studies and books already written). Some of my friends find dreams (I'm talking about the dreams that occur at night, while we sleep) very interesting and read theories about them, other friends think of them as signs or premonitions while the others think of them as mere dreams, not really worth analyzing. I find them intriguing. They are like messengers who give us riddles and in order to solve them we have to look for deeper meanings in ourselves and around us. Nothing is random and everything has its purpose in dreams. There are symbols, ciphers, pieces that you'd rarely think of while awake and they guide you through another world: the inner you. I should have read more, but I guess I like to imagine things, to come to my own conclusions and only then can I read and compare my thoughts with established theories. So, now, maybe Freud won't have to wait that long for me to read his book...and I'll stop pretending to be all-knowing.